You promised me you wouldn't stay [24 Jul 2006|11:31am] [ mood | curious ] [ music | The Tide Is High by Blondie ] Well, in five weeks I'll be moving to Lawrence. And I've realized that I don't want to be more than friends with Adam anymore. We're too different in some very important points of view. Like religion. And he just keeps pushing it. I mean, it made me realize some other things. I like being just friends with him better. Getting caught up in emotions is complicating things and I don't like that. Plus, lately all I do is avoid him. Ever since I started talking to Shawn on the phone and texts. I think I have a crush on him. Which is absolutely ridiculous. We talked for 45 minutes last night. It's so weird cuz I totally thought he hated me. And suddenly we're buds. It is so weird. post comment

I was not looking for no love affair [24 Jul 2006|11:34pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | Afro by Erykah Badu ] So, I'm glad that I stopped having dreams about Shawn because they were getting obscenely obscene. I mean, what is with this whole having the best sex of my life with him? Stop with the subconscious thing!!!! RAWR. What would Freud say? Probably that I have this huge thing for Shawn and that I'm sexually frusterated and the fact that he's Adam's good friend and I'm having all these doubts about Adam and I as a couple that the next best(well, actually to be honest better) thing is Shawn. And since Shawn is kind of elusive and mysterious (only because we've only talked a few times) I'm unbelievably intrigued by him. Undoubtedly the same thing would happen with him, should he decide to go with my urges (and hopefully his natural male urges), eventually I would get bored with him as well. I'd like to think not, but it seems to be one of the patterns with me. The thing is, I actually met Shawn in real life before we started talking. Last night was comparable to a first date. You chat lightly, figure out what you have in common...see if you have fun with the person. I'd definitely like to "see" him again. And I think I intrigue him as much as he does me. Honestly, why else would he be paying me so much attention? post comment

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